The past week has been rather challenging. At the end of last week I found myself feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and sick. As I let my thoughts start to spiral into a negative twist I became more and more distressed. My ego was having a hard time admitting that I was indeed crashing from stress burnout.
My thoughts kept screaming "how can you role model health if you are doing exactly what you encourage other's not to do?" Then the harsh self criticism of "You know you need to take a break, you slipped a week on cardio-no excuse for being busy with work, you haven't kept a strict anti-inflammatory diet, you haven't paced yourself" really started taking over. So I let them. I let my thoughts just come and go, realizing my emotions in response to them. I let my mind and body process my situation so that I could get to the other side of them.
My day job seems to increase in chaos daily with no relief in sight anytime in the near future. I am working hard to build a health coaching business, and maintain my beloved yoga business. Working one full time job is stressful, let alone trying to juggle building two other business into one holistic approach on top of a high stress job. Let's add seasonal allergies at high point and significant family events (all of which are happy events, but non the less stress inducing). So no wonder I found myself becoming run down. I am human, I do have limits. I am the example of why it is so important to take care of yourself. I need to start with me before I can bring it to others. So I did.
With the encouragement of my husband, I took a sick day from all that I do and napped. Napped! Glorious, wonderful, restorative sleep. It was indeed helpful. Exactly what my body was telling me I needed.
As I was starting to feel I had a grip on caring for myself, our cars were broken in to. Right here in our yard, just feet from where we were sleeping. I could feel my body having a reaction. I shared what happened on social media, resulting in compassionate responses from my friends. However, I did notice the generalized anger towards the thief. I was feeling the full range of normal reactions ie: anger, fear, anxiety, etc. I felt my body going back into the awful space it had been in over the past days. I realized anger and fear did NOT serve my body well. I needed to change my thoughts so that I could also change how my body was feeling. Then it struck me-"use your yoga training."
I thought about compassion, how that when I feel a sense of compassion, it dissipates negative feelings. I tried thinking about the thief in a compassionate way. But that didn't work very well. So, I expanded on that and thought about all those connected to the thief, not just me/the victims, but those directly connected to him/her. This person must have or had parents, perhaps siblings, friends, intimate partners, co-workers at some point, etc. There must have been somebody along the path of this person who tried to help steer the sinking ship ashore. There has to be somebody, somewhere in that person's life who is hurt, who is suffering from the disconnect of this person. While the victims of this thief are suffering, so are others in response to this chosen path. We are not alone in our suffering. We may come to the suffering in different ways but we are all one in the hurt, regardless of how we got there. My hurt was no more or no less than the disconnected. I felt my anger ease, I felt my fear fade, I began to feel safe.
Safety comes from knowing that I have control over my thoughts, my feelings, my responses. While I might not be able to prevent horrible things from happening, I surely can take charge of myself and not let the actions of another run my life.
Nutrition, sleep, and activity level all play a very important role in our health. For me, my yoga practice is essential in remaining grounded, balanced, and well.
Below is a meditation on love and compassion. It is called Interconnectedness and has been a favorite of mine since learning it in yoga school. You can generalize it to anything, as I did above. Try it out and share what the experience was like for you.
Interconnectedness
Benefits
- Provides an antidote to the feeling that you are separate.
- Helps you feel your life has meaning
- Promotes love and compassion.
When to practice
- Try this mediation if you are feeling alone, overwhelmed and alienated.
Preparation
- Buy an apple at the market
Practice
1) Sit on a cushion or chair in a quiet space. Bring your apple with you. Watch your breath for a few minutes to calm and settle your mind.
2) Place the apple in front of you on a table. Now visualize the seed from which the apple came. Visualize a farmer planting the seed, carefully fertilizing the ground. clouds come and go and rain moistens the earth. For years the farmer tends the tree, which is also home to birds and insects, until one day it bears fruit. They pack your apple in a crate with others. The farmer drives your apple to a wholesale market. the wholesaler buys your apple and sells it to your shop. Another driver delivers it to the shop.
3) Visualize the apple tree and all the people and equipment involved in bringing this one apple to you. You can extend this mediation by tracing every aspect of the process, including the people who built the vehicle that delivered your apple. At every given moment you are connected to an infinite number of beings. you can't exist without them. You are enmeshed in a cosmic web of creation.
4) End your mediation by eating the apple. Feel your connection to everyone who made it possible.
This meditation, and many others can be found in The Meditation Bible by Madonna Gauding.
Namaste
